1953-2007
THE CYBERSHUL

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TORAH READING

Pinhas

God praises PinHAS for having killed Zimri, a Simeonite chieftain who became intimate with Cozbi, daughter of a Midianite chieftain. God establishes with PinHAS a beRIT shaLOM, a pact of friendship that granted him and his descendants the priesthood forever. God commands Moses to count the people, ages 20 and up. The first census was taken in the second year of the Israelite’s wilderness journey; this census takes place in the 40th year. During that time, the Children of Israel diminished slightly from 603,550 to 601,730. The most dramatic decrease is in the tribe of Simeon, and the most dramatic increase is by the half-tribe of Menashe. God tells Moses to divide the land of Israel by lot, giving greater portions to the larger tribes and smaller portions to the smaller tribes. The five daughters of TzelofHAD, who died leaving no sons, approach Moses to request that land be given them (inheritance was generally passed to the sons) in order to perpetuate their father’s name. God declares their argument just. Moses is told to ascend the heights of AvaRIM in order to survey the Promised Land, for he would die without entering it. Moses is concerned about his successor so God chooses Joshua son of Nun. The Torah continues with a review of the sacrificial rites. Lambs, rams, bulls and goats are offered, along with meal offerings and wine libations. Tedious by some standards, this section reveals some fascinating details. Among them: sacrifices were made at least twice a day, everyday; animal slaughter was permitted on Shabbat; over Sukkot, in addition to other sacrifices, a total of 70 bulls were offered, thought to coincide with the mythical 70 nations of the world. The so-called people of Israel would not divorce the world from God’s blessings.

A SHABBAT THOUGHT

I don’t know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody.

~~ Bill Cosby ~~

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THE ETHICAL CAN BE AN INFINITELY PAINFUL ACT

Dear CyberRav,

My husband is dying of cancer and it is clear to me that he is in the last days of his life. He has refused medicine and food, virtually everything but water, and I fear that it will not be long before he slips into unconsciousness. As long as he is conscious, he has a right to refuse these medications and food, even in spite of my protests (mild though they are). But should he become comatose, and I become responsible for the decisions, it is difficult to imagine that I, too, would stop medications or food that could keep him alive. I love him, but what he wants will bring his life to an end, and that I do not want. What do I do?

Losing My Friend

THE ANSWER

Dear Losing My Friend

I am so sorry to hear about your husband’s present condition, but I know that he has put up a valiant fight over the past six months. He has followed the doctors orders, taken the chemo, continued to work, and did as much as he could as long as he could.

You are right to think that every minute of our lives is precious and sacred, and that we should choose life, as the Torah commands us. On the face of it, keeping medications from a person sounds like a deliberate attempt to end the person’s life. But forcing what we believe to be a good therapy or a good medication upon someone is not the way we want to interact with loved ones. We might be able to convince them to take engage in those therapies or take those medications, but no one wants to be forced into something. Sometimes it is clear that a person with the potential for life and health is doing something to hurt themselves. Then there is at least reason to do battle against the irrational. But in a case where a dying person, especially one who has tried as hard as your husband, is turning to us and saying, "no more," forcing him to take the medication would be like forcing a marathon runner to keep jogging having crossed the finish line.

"Enough" is not suicide, but rather a sense of resignation that is associate with imminent death.

So, too, keeping food from a person sounds like a deliberate attempt to end the person’s life. And yet there are times in our lives when an attempt to feed us might actually be cruel. We may not be hungry, or the food may not agree with us. The point is that keeping food from someone is not, in and of itself, a cruel or a murderous act. If part of dying is losing interest in food and the absence of appetite, then the attempt to feed a person against their wishes would be cruel and worse yet, an impediment to imminent and inevitable death, which itself violates Jewish values.

I think that this may be a case, sad as it is, when the only moral act would be to abide by your husband’s wishes. If he had a choice he would never leave you or the children, but there comes a time in our lives when we many have no choice, and it sounds as if he is approaching that sad time.

May God bless him and keep him pain free. May God empower you to make the right decisions and accept the necessity of those decisions. And may God bless you and your children as you all navigate these dark and unsettling waters.

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