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This Week’s Torah Reading

Balak

Balak, king of Moab, dreaded Israel. He sent two delegations of elders to hire Balaam, a wizard, to curse the Israelites for a handsome reward. God first directs Balaam not to go, but then grants permission on condition that Balaam will speak only the words of God. Balaam sets out on his donkey to perform the evil task. The donkey twice sees an angel of God with a drawn sword and swerves off the road to avoid the adversary. Balaam beats the donkey each time. Seeing the angel a third time, the donkey simply sits down only to suffer a severe beating by Balaam. The donkey then speaks to his infuriated and emotional master, whereupon Balaam, finally, sees the angel too. The angel chastises Balaam for striking the animal and notes that had the donkey advanced further, Balaam would have died by the angel’s sword. The angel permits Balaam to continue but to say only that which God permits. Balak and Balaam meet. Three times, seven bulls and rams are offered to God on seven altars. Each time, when Balaam is ready to curse Israel, he utters only words of blessing. Needless to say, Balak did not pay the wizard for services rendered. Oddly enough, some Israelites fraternized with Moabite women, and ended up worshiping to BA’al PeOR, their god. A plague ravages the Israelite camp. PinHAS, son of ElaZAR, sees an Israelite and Moabite woman come into the camp. He takes a spear and skewers them both. He thus checks the plague, but not before 24,000 die.

A SHABBAT THOUGHT

Giving people a little more than they expect is a good way to get back a lot more than you’d expect.

~~ Robert Half   ~~

WEB OF THE WEEK

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Irenea Sendler—a life worthy of our profound admiration.

AURAL TORAH

Donkeys and the Word of God

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KADDISH FOR WIFE #1
OR PEACE WITH WIFE #2?

Dear CyberRav,

My first wife died eight years ago. I have since remarried a woman who is very nice, but we do have some issues that cause great tension between us. One of them surrounds my saying kaddish for my first wife. She becomes very jealous over my recitation of kaddish for her or my lighting of a yahrzeit candle in her memory. She claims that she is my new wife and I have to leave the past behind. I believe that I have left the past behind, but how can I ignore my first wife’s yahrzeit? She bore my three children and we lived happily for 39 years. Should I forego her yahrzeit for the sake of shalom bayit, peace in my home?

CYBER RAV ANSWERS

Dear Really Torn,

Ouch! This problem sounds like a bruiser. First of all, I commend you for the respect you seek to pay your first wife, while at the same time seeking shalom bayit with your present wife. A second spouse does not come into our lives to replace the first, but to establish a new and different relationship, and hopefully a fulfilling one at that. I would hope that your present wife would understand that your recitation of kaddish in no way undermines your relationship with her. Her expectation that you should so easily give up honoring your first wife’s memory is a bit over the top.

I wonder if your wife’s irritation with your saying Kaddish does not point to a deeper distrust of your devotion to her or a suspicion that the love between you is faltering. It seems to me that if she were completely at peace with the present relationship, she would not only understand your need to say kaddish for your first wife, but even encourage you to do so.

If you could delicately suggest to her that a professional might help the two of you sort out this Kaddish issue, maybe other tensions in the relationship could be exposed and thus dealt with in some effective manner. Good luck and alehah hashalom—may your first wife rest in peace and may you achieve peace with your present wife.

Rabbi Rafi Rank
CyberRav

Shabbat Shalom Everyone!!

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