Midway Jewish Center
56 Years Young: 1953-2009 !
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TORAH READING

Bereishit

God creates the heaven and the earth in six days, and rests on the seventh. Assessing His work, God saw that it was “very good.” There are two creation stories in this paraSHAH, and the second one begins in Genesis 2:4. In this second story, God creates man from the dust and blows the breath of life into his nostrils. He lived in Eden. God gives the man one command: do not eat from the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Bad. The man named all the living things, but could not find a friend. God therefore removes a rib from him and fashions a woman. The man liked the results. A serpent challenges the woman over the one divine command given to man, and she therefore eats of the forbidden fruit and gives some to the man. They suddenly see their nakedness. Adam is frightened. God wants to know whether he has violated the command and Adam responds—the woman made me do it. The woman responds: the serpent duped me. So God punishes them all. The snake will crawl on its belly and be the object of abuse. The woman will have pain in childbirth and be subservient to man. Adam will earn his bread by the sweat of his brow. And then God made them garments of skin. The Lord banishes Adam and Eve from the garden and stationed angels with swords of fire at its entrance that they may never return. Eve bore Cain and Abel. The two brought offerings to God, though God found only Abel’s acceptable. Cain kills his brother. God asks Cain where his brother is and Cain responds, “Am I my brother’s keeper?” God damns Cain to be a restless wanderer on earth and places a mark on his head warning revenge for anyone who might kill Cain. Cain married, had a son and a lot of begetting begins. God sets the lifespan of a man at 120 years. Men were wicked and God regretted that He had created them, but He took a liking to Noah.

A SHABBAT THOUGHT

The manner in which it is given is worth more than the gift.

~~ Pierre Corneille ~~

WEB OF THE WEEK

Remember that new mahzor we talked about over the holidays? It is called Mahzor Lev Shalem, the Whole Heart Mahzor and the Rabbinical Assembly has given it its own webpage! Within the coming weeks, the site will feature several podcasts! Enjoy.

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Goodness Versus Holiness

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DEAR CYBERAV… I’VE GOTTA QUESTION

YOM KIPPUR OR A FUNERAL? HMMM…

Dear Cyber Rav,

Rabbi some guidance. On Yom Kippur there was a funeral for a man I have know for almost 30 years. He was a client, a mentor and a friend. During these years he was wonderful not only to me but to my wife and children in many, many ways. He also brought all of us into his family life and we are close with all of his children. I attended Kol Nidre services and fasted the entire Yom Kippur. We attended his funeral from 8:30 AM until it was completed at the cemetery at 1PM. At that point I headed to Midway and attended the balance of Yom Kippur services. I would like to know, according to Halakhah, (Jewish law, not sure of spelling) did I do the right thing? If not, did I do the moral thing? PS, this is the man I wrote to you about regarding his lack of faith. It is sad and, I believe, his death harder for him due to his lack of faith right up to the end. In many ways he had a marvelous life and I believe he felt he should have more. If you are busy I understand no need to respond.

In a Quandary Over Yom Kippur

CYBER RAV ANSWERS

Dear In a Quandary,

Thanks for writing about this issue and it does pose a very interesting dilemma. As a way of introducing my own thought process in pondering issues of this nature, I am going to suggest that we not make a distinction between that which is moral and that which Halakhic, as such a dichotomy suggests that there is a moral choice separate and apart from the Halakhic choice, and such a dichotomy is one we should reject. If Halakhah, as we understand it, is the will of God, then the will of God by definition must either be moral or neutral (some Halakhic issues, like when you say certain prayers, have no moral dimension about them), but God's will can never be immoral.

Additionally, let me suggest that the answer to your question revolves not so much around what you did, as much as how you understood what you were doing. You made a choice about being in synagogue or at a funeral. A funeral of someone we know, even someone we know very well and loved, which is in conflict with Yom Kippur, does not necessarily lead to the conclusion--I have to forego shul in deference to the funeral of my good friend. There are, after all, tasks or events that are of greater importance than funerals, and I hope that good friends would respect us for our religious convictions even when they may conflict with involvement in their personal affairs. In light of this, the question becomes what you were saying to the bereaved and to your own family, and to yourself, by choosing the funeral over Yom Kippur.

From a purely Conservative Halakhic perspective, attending a funeral on Yom Kippur could entail all sorts of problems. You are not permitted to drive any where on Shabbat except to the synagogue. You are under an obligation to say certain prayers, and those prayers must be recited at certain times of the day, which you may have missed. You would not be permitted to sign any books of condolence. You would not be permitted to move earth as for purposes of burial on that day. So now that we have established that attending a funeral on Yom Kippur will almost necessarily involve violations of Halakhah, let’s focus on what typical Conservative Jews face all the time when they try to juggle the demands of the Halakhah with living life in a non-Jewish, often irreligious society.

I did not miss the fact that you attended Kol Nidrei, fasted the entire day, and returned to synagogue immediately following the funeral. I think that your decision to return to the synagogue is commendable and your fasting for the full period kept you in Yom Kippur mode, even at the funeral. This is all good stuff.

As for the decision to attend the funeral, I can only begin to imagine what this man must have meant to you and to your family to have given up synagogue for the funeral. In other words, had you not attended due to your being an observant Jew who is bound to be in synagogue on the most sacred day of the year, I think the grieving family would have understood that, and I think that you would have found ways to honor the memory of your friend and console the bereaved in ways as good as attending the funeral. On the other hand, I can't say that attending the funeral on Yom Kippur was a sinful act. For you and your family, it sounds that the relationship that he had established with you compelled you all to be there at that funeral, on that day. You were, after all, not skipping shul to go to the Mets game, finish "an important" tax return, or take some time off in Atlantic City. You did not plan this funeral for Yom Kippur. The coincidence of this funeral and Yom Kippur is yet another example of the complicated lives we lead in a world where we want to be true to our Jewish selves without insulting or ignoring or isolating ourselves from the non-Jewish world around us.

And so, I can't quite fathom making the same choice that you made. But I also know you and the kind of person you are. You chose to comfort a mourner, which is always a big mitzvah, without forgetting about the sanctity of the Yom Kippur day, which is also a big mitzvah. That was undoubtedly a very powerful message to your children and your wife. It also points to the respect you hold simultaneously for your friends, however religious or irreligious they may be, and Jewish tradition. That's pretty good! If only more people were like that! Kol hakavod--you are deserving of much honor!

Rabbi Rafi Rank
CyberRav

Shabbat Shalom Everyone!!

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